How often do you get the oil changed on your car? When did you last see a doctor?
Most men answer these two questions quite differently, typically responding: “twice annually” to the first and “I can’t remember” to the second. Or, “thanks, I need to get this done” and “what doctor?” Honestly, most men take better care of their cars than they do their own bodies.
In fact, the only time these questions failed to evoke the typical responses was during my Google lecture last year when the answers were “six months ago” and “a year ago.” Of course, only after the lecture did I learn that the Google has both car mechanics and doctors on campus.
The Mechanistic Man Concept
The concept of man as machine is certainly not new. That seventeenth century philosopher Rene Descartes, of “I think therefore I am” fame, was one of the earliest to address the notion of men as mechanical beasts. In 1812, Mary Shelly, of Frankenstein fame, furthered the concept in her novel about the ultimate alchemic, galvanic human. And who can forget the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, a rust bucket until his joints are oiled smooth? Or the transformers, the ultimate man-machines?
Men as Cars
To bring the man as machine concept to modern times, let’s compare them to cars:
- Heart=engine. Treat it right and it lasts forever
- Skin=car body. Keep it clean and well-maintained and everyone notices
- Blood=gasoline. Get too low or poison it with drugs and it runs terribly
- Blood vessels=hoses. Clog them and everything comes to a grinding halt
- Testosterone=oil. Lubricates the whole system. A must have to run smoothly
- Muscles=drive train. Keep moving to keep moving longer
- Intestines=exhaust. Block these up and things slow down…and smell
- Nerves=electrical system. Stay stressed and they heat up and fuses blow
- Hydration=coolant. Keep it full or you’ll overheat and blow a gasket
- Pain=idiot lights. Don’t keep ignoring them; things might get worse
Take Better Care
Honestly, guys, we are not taking good care of ourselves compared to women. Our machines are not only vintage but also endangered:
- Men are half as likely as women to see a doctor.
- Men know less than women about health and symptoms of diseases
- Men ask 1/5 of the questions that women do at doctors visits
- Men constitute 2/3 of alcoholics in the U.S.
- Men are almost 5 times more likely than women to die of HIV
- Men are twice as likely as women to die of heart disease
- Men live 5 years shorter lives than women in the U.S.
Point is, your body is the equivalent of the rarest Ferrari imaginable. Take good care of it and it will be a beauty to behold and a joy to drive. It’s the one mechanical thing in your life that should matter the most. So, try one of our Men’s Reproductive Health Tune Ups!