The Art of the Vasectomy

Well, guess what? It’s March Madness again. A great time for all good men to consider having vasectomies done. Why not take advantage of that rare loophole opportunity to turn a highly unwelcomed poke on the nether regions into a guilt-free, sports watching vacation?

Surgical Art

I find it interesting that the vasectomy procedure, although avoided like the plague by men, is considered “high art” by many surgeons in the profession. I agree. A vasectomy must be done quickly, painlessly, silently and skillfully, and that takes some doing. Even the conversation matters, to maximally divert attention away from what’s actually being done and to help time pass more quickly.

No Extra Notes

A vasectomy is really a performance, just like any other, and one that must go well. There is intense preparation, a series of well-orchestrated, swift and purposeful movements, and then a quiet but resounding finish. Throughout, there is economy of motion and respect for time spent “under the knife.” Call me a sadist, but when done properly, it is truly a beautiful thing to behold.
In fact, I would compare a well done snip and roll to a Satie Gymnopedia #1 piano concerto. So few notes, so precisely played, with unseemingly long pauses between them, giving enormous meaning to music. Or, take Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue. So composed, so precise, yet free and uninhibited. No note missing, no note too many. Sheer musical genius.
I would have to say that thinking of vasectomy as performance art helps me develop ways to make it go faster, better and smoother too. You want the procedure to have a cadence, to “sound” just right, when it plays. This has led me to use an “in line,” “no scalpel” approach and to avoid excising vasal segments, all great ways to minimize time, motion and tissue damage and thereby hasten healing. The practical side of art. Maybe I’m old fashioned, or maybe I’m modern, but thinking of surgery as art elevates it to a whole new level of craftsmanship, and I believe that that is good for care.